Week 13

Today was BUSY! Students in Intro to 3D are in the beginning stages of their paper project. This project is always difficult for them because they have trouble grasping the idea of layering paper to create a low relief sculpture, but the results are usually stunning! Gretchen came and observed during one of these classes and I was glad she could come during 3rd period because they are my favorite class. They ask so many questions! Often, I feel like I am hovering, but with this period, I feel like they need my input. So I was very happy with how that went!

Ms. O had a horrible tooth ache and ended up leaving halfway through the day to get an emergency root canal. I can't believe she even came to school today, but she said she wanted to be here when my evaluator (Gretchen) came. I tried to convince her that it's really chill and not the same as an IU evaluator for student teaching, but she really wanted to be there. It was so kind.

Later in the day I helped Ms. O grade AP statements that they will submit with their portfolio. I think it's great she has them write up a draft before submitting because when I was in AP we did it the day we submitted with out any review. Two of the girls in AP are basing their concentration on depression/mental illness as they have personal experiences with it. I happened to be reading one of their writings and it was extremely detailed and a little graphic in nature about her struggles with suicide and past attempts to take her life. I gave it to Ms. O to read and I suggested she not even comment on the fact that her writing isn't addressing the artwork but to focus on the fact that this girl was obviously dumping a load of luggage onto the page. We didn't know who's writing it was because it didn't have a name on the document when we printed from Canvas but we assumed it was K. Ms. O decided to send the writing to her counselor and then said she would ask her to talk later today. Right before Ms. O sent the writing, she noticed that when she went to K.'s canvas, her submission was completely different than the one we thought was hers. We then realized it was A.'s writing. That could've been a huge mess!!! So lesson learned, always know exactly who wrote what in case it warrants notifying the counselor and parents. From my recent suicide prevention training, I would have suggested talking to her first before sending to her counselor, but Ms. O says that A. has been very open about her struggle and likes her counselor and therapist so she knew it wouldn't be a situation where A. was confiding in Ms. O and would feel betrayed if she forwarded her writing to the counselor.

Other big stuff going on:

Fishers is opening a part time 2D and digital teaching position for the 2018-19 school year. Ms. O texted me earlier this week saying that she's been dreading telling me because she and the rest of the staff were sad it didn't line up with my graduation. So after I cried for a while, I sat down and wrote a letter to the principal and updated my resume and e-portfolio to give to him in person today. I called the art department head and asked her more about what this department needed and where I could potentially fit into all of this. She definitely calmed a lot of my fears and anxieties, the greatest of which being that they hire someone else and then when they needed more classes they would bump the part time teacher into a full-time position which would cancel out any future opportunity of me being hired. Ms. Osborne told me that even if they did need a full time teacher, the part time teacher would have to apply for the position along with any other interested candidates. She also assured me that no one knows how things will work out. This part time teacher could suck, or could only want to teach for a year or two, or maybe someone retires or quits. So she really helped me calm down. Then last night, I ate about 2 1/2 grilled cheese sandwiches at a fundraising event, and since I was nervous about talking to the principal and everything I felt like I was going to throw up the whole night and my stomach was just so uneasy. Another lesson learned: eat light the night before something nerve-wracking. So this morning I had Ms. O email the principal and ask if he had 5 minutes to meet me this afternoon and he scheduled me in for 2:30. About 30 minutes before my meeting I started getting light headed and sick to my stomach, which was weird because I felt very prepared to talk to him, but I guess the body acts strange under stress. What was interesting though was that the moment I actually saw him and walked into his office, I felt much calmer. He's very friendly and easy to talk to which was great. I gave my little pitch and my resume, letter, and references. I didn't feel dismissed as the conversation was great, but I could tell he wasn't interested or couldn't see a solution where I could start in January. Danielle and Jasmine told me still not to worry because at least I put a bug in his ear and maybe they'll choose someone who is only looking for a short term gig so I can take the job in a year. Who knows. But I'm proud I worked up the courage to talk to him and now he at least knows me a little better so our relationship can develop more. He said he was very happy I came down to talk to him since I've been around so long but haven't really talked to him. Anyway. Did what I could. He did say if I could get approval to take on the position and have it count as my student teaching to get in touch with him, but since I'm going to Australia it still wouldn't work even if the School of Ed miraculously let me take the job as part of my student teaching. It was just beginning to feel a bit forced, and in past experience, when you force something to work out that just isn't meant to be it can be bad. Doesn't mean don't go out and fight for what you want, just know when to trust fate a little bit. Who knows how it will all work out. I'm hopeful.

Today was definitely emotionally and mentally exhausting though, so I just finished sobbing for 30 minutes because my body had no other way of releasing all that anxiety and stress. Feel great.

No pictures today since I was so busy, so here's pictures of Maui from his visit last week.